Fortune Cookie Fortunes
Why do people suffer from anxiety? How is that people can ever be calm? A million things can go wrong, in a million ways. We should be terrified out of our skulls at every second. The same can be said for depression, laziness and criminality. Two-year-olds, statistically speaking, are the most violent of people. They kick, hit and bite, and they steal the property of others.
They do so to explore, to express outrage and frustration, and to gratify their impulsive desires.
More importantly, for our purposes, they do so to discover the true limits of permissible behaviour. How else are they ever going to puzzle out what is acceptable? Infants are like blind people, searching for a wall. They have to push forward, and test, to see where the actual boundaries lie and those are too-seldom where they are said to be. Kids do this frequently. Scared parents think that a crying child is always sad or hurt. This is simply not true.
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Anger is one of the most common reasons for crying. Careful analysis of the musculature patterns of crying children has confirmed this. Anger-crying and fear-or-sadness crying do not look the same. Anger-crying is often an act of dominance, and should be dealt with as such. He wanted to know. You can teach virtually anyone anything with such an approach. First, figure out what you want. Then, watch the people around you like a hawk.
Finally, whenever you see anything a bit more like what you want, swoop in hawk, remember and deliver a reward. Your daughter has been very reserved since she became a teenager. You wish she would talk more. One morning, over breakfast, she shares an anecdote about school. Stop texting and listen. Skinner, however, was a realist.
He noted that use of reward was very difficult: the observer had to attend patiently until the target spontaneously manifested the desired behaviour, and then reinforce. However, children would not have such a lengthy period of natural development, prior to maturity, if their behaviour did not have to be shaped. Given this, the fundamental moral question is not how to shelter children completely from misadventure and failure, so they never experience any fear or pain, but how to maximize their learning so that useful knowledge may be gained with minimal cost.
If a child has not been taught to behave properly by the age of four, it will forever be difficult for him or her to make friends. The research literature is quite clear on this. So now we have two general principles of discipline. The first: limit the rules.
The second: Use the least force necessary to enforce those rules. So here are a few practical hints: time out can be an extremely effective form of punishment, particularly if the misbehaving child is welcome as soon as he controls his temper. An angry child should sit by himself until he calms down.
Then he should be allowed to return to normal life. That means the child wins—instead of his anger. If your child is the kind of determined varmint who simply runs away, laughing, when placed on the steps or in his room, physical restraint might have to be added to the time out routine.
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A child can be held carefully but firmly by the upper arms, until he or she stops squirming and pays attention. People are aggressive and selfish, as well as kind and thoughtful. For this reason, no adult human being—no hierarchical, predatory ape—can truly tolerate being dominated by an upstart child. Revenge will come. Ten minutes after a pair of all-too-nice-and-patient parents have failed to prevent a public tantrum at the local supermarket, they will pay their toddler back with the cold shoulder when he runs up, excited, to show mom and dad his newest accomplishment.
Parents have a duty to act as proxies for the real world—merciful proxies, caring proxies—but proxies, nonetheless. This obligation supersedes any responsibility to ensure happiness, foster creativity, or boost self-esteem. It is the primary duty of parents to make their children socially desirable. Many, perhaps even most, of the adults who abuse children were abused themselves as children. However, the majority of people who were abused as children do not abuse their own children. But success makes us complacent.
We forget to pay attention. We take what we have for granted. We turn a blind eye. We fail to notice that things are changing, or that corruption is taking root. And everything falls apart. Is that the fault of reality—of God? Or do things fall apart because we have not paid sufficient attention?
A hurricane is an act of God. And the wages of sin is death Romans Have you cleaned up your life? Start stopping today. If you cannot bring peace to your household, how dare you try to rule a city? To share does not mean to give away something you value, and get nothing back. That is instead only what every child who refuses to share fears it means. To share means, properly, to initiate the process of trade.
People watched the successful succeed and the unsuccessful fail for thousands and thousands of years. We thought it over, and drew a conclusion: The successful among us delay gratification. The successful among us bargain with the future. The successful sacrifice. It might even be time to sacrifice what you love best, so that you can become who you might become, instead of staying who you are.
Thus, the person who wishes to alleviate suffering—who wishes to rectify the flaws in Being; who wants to bring about the best of all possible futures; who wants to create Heaven on Earth—will make the greatest of sacrifices, of self and child, of everything that is loved, to live a life aimed at the Good.
He will forego expediency. He will pursue the path of ultimate meaning. And he will in that manner bring salvation to the ever-desperate world. It means that even under conditions of extreme privation, there are more important things than food. To put it another way: Bread is of little use to the man who has betrayed his soul, even if he is currently.
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The society produced by Christianity was far less barbaric than the pagan—even the Roman—ones it replaced. Christian society at least recognized that feeding slaves to ravenous lions for the entertainment of the populace was wrong, even if many barbaric practices still existed. It objected to infanticide, to prostitution, and to the principle that might means right.
It insisted that women were as valuable as men even though we are still working out how to manifest that insistence politically. Finally, it separated church from state, so that all-too-human emperors could no longer claim the veneration due to gods. Even when the modern atheists opposed to Christianity belittle fundamentalists for insisting, for example, that the creation account in Genesis is objectively true, they are using their sense of truth, highly developed over the centuries of Christian culture, to engage in such argumentation.